Interlude

Dear Readers/Viewers,

While Harlow and I take turns driving to our next destination, I would like to take some time and give you some background on the two beloved beauty's we are fighting so hard to save,  the two doll's that are the reason for this journey. 

Today I will speak of the delightful Gladiss the Wonderful of PowaWOWa. She was just minding her own business when that awful Roxanne ripped her away from normal life.

Gladiss was born many years ago in a beautiful castle in a very far away place. Instantly she become royalty as she was the only living heir to some king who was occupying that castle. She was a joy the day she was born and she remains a joy almost 40 years later.

Gladiss got her 15 minutes of fame when she starred in a very low budget film 150 years ago called "Gone with the Wind". If you haven't heard of it, you're not alone. Many have not.

Once filming was over, it was apparent that Gladiss and her Gone with the Wind co-star, some unknown Ohioan named Clark Gable, (If you haven't heard of him, once again, you are not alone. Many have not) were in love. They exchanged vows in a small ceremony conducted by the precious Reverend Al Sharpton, and spent the next few years having offspring. 

After Clark died of coronary thombosis in November of 1960, Gladiss decided to dedicate her time to saving lost Miniature Dachshunds in the city of PowaWOWa. No, that is not where I came into her picture. Like I said, I am a true German. It is, however, where many of my beautiful Dachshund family members were rescued and brought back to life by Gladiss the Great. Isn't Gladiss so adorable? God Bless Her! I will extricate her from the danger that the dragon Roxanne has put her in.

Tomorrow, I will introduce you a little more to Queen Grace of Roosevelta'. Until then, this is Sage Rianna Chase and I am signing out for the evening. Goodnight.

Another Interlude

Hello again. We are still traveling and as promised, I will now tell you more about Queen Grace.

Queen Grace's name is actually very misleading. She was born-: Aunt Grace, in the booming town of Roosevelta'. Orphaned from the beginning, she was raised from the time she was one month old on by a small pack of wolves. They named her Honorary Chief Wolf when she become old and wise enough to start leading the pack. Aunt Grace loved and cared for all of the wolves in her pack. She was a goddess in their eyes. She became very close with a particular wolf pup but we will get to that another time.

Once she grew into her own, Aunt Grace decided that there was more to do with her life than to sit around and howl at the moon. And so, with great sadness, she left her pack.

Flying airplanes was always part of Aunt Grace's "life agenda" and so that is what she did. Honorary Chief Wolf Aunt Grace received her first set of gold wings after she circled this once rumored- "flat earth" three times in a row. The first human to ever complete this path flying solo in a single engine plane. Often hailed as a true American aviation pioneer, Aunt Grace wanted to do more with her already well accomplished life.  

 However, true love found her before she could reach her next goal. She married Brookline, Massachusetts native John F. Kennedy in 1955. Together, they had two children. One of them however, went missing on its 2nd Birthday. That female child was never seen or heard from again. Aunt Grace was devastated. 

With a broken heart, she decided to travel to PowaWOWa to visit her dear old friend Gladiss. Once there, Aunt Grace was struck with the desire to want to help all of the homeless children in PowaWOWa. With her best friend busy rescuing dogs, Grace became preoccupied rescuing children. It was during this time that she received her newest title: Mother GRRace-a.   

Aunt Grace was never reunited with John F. Kennedy again, as he was assasinated in 1960. God bless his soul. The couple's only known existing child was left to care for itself. We will get to this topic another time as well.

With a life full of triumph, success and good deeds, Aunt Grace was knighted a Queen by a man who is a true "Prince"- Prince Rogers Nelson- or otherwise known as: The Artist Formerly known as Prince.

Grace too was minding her own business when that horrid dragon Roxanne swept her away.

And so, I hope you can now truly see why it is so important for Harlow and I to redeem these two significant citizens.

Part 3

Greetings from the town of McAnn!

It has been such a busy weekend since our arrival in this new place.

Day 1 here was spent greeting and dining with the town elf ruler and namesake- McAnn. She is quite the heroine. Harlow and I were very grateful to have spent a full day gallivanting around this territory under her lead.

While we were having the time of our lives doing that, Christine was locked in the trunk of our car. After spending days driving mile after mile in her presence, Harlow and I decided that she needed a little time out. And the trunk of our little green car sounded like the perfect place for her.

Later on, McAnn introduced us to her slaves-two ghoulish characters named Orlalegolas and Bloomturner. They were not nice, nor were they trusting of my sidekick and I.

I have a very strong feeling that the two of them are conspiring against us. I hope to probe their consciences when the time is right and see what their story is.

McAnn however, was very welcoming. She has agreed to endorse our journey. God Bless her! She also gave us directions to the bed and breakfast that the hideous Roxanne was staying at. By the time we had gotten there though, Roxanne was long gone.

With our luck running low, we asked McAnn who we could turn to for guidance advice. And so, McAnn made us a last minute appointment with her Guidance Counselor, Dr. Peter Moreau. Long ago, back in 1997, Dr. Moreau had upset the balance of nature. By turning animals into humans, he had turned heaven into hell. But, he learned from his mistakes and now Dr. Moreau is just a guidance couselor at McAnn Elementary.

Dr Moreau's advice: "Go to the Gates of Doom."

When I asked what made him so sure that this was where Roxanne was, he handed me a postcard that Roxanne had just sent to him.

After letting Christine out of the trunk to stretch her creepy critter legs for a moment, we were off- To the Gates of Doom!

The Ransom Note

The drive to The Gates of Doom is quite long. Please bear with us as we take our sweet, sweet time to travel. We will be making a short stop in the town of Oz quite soon where we will have time to further update you on our journey.
Until then, I will be making this ransom note public. I received it from a messenger owl late last night. It is from yours truly: DISGUSTING ROXANNE

Viewer discretion is advised

From Roxanne
Sent:Tue 8/05/08 6:44 PM
"What, did you run out of things to write about? Lazy creature! I spew at you little dogs and your story.
I recently returned from Roosevelta where I wreaked havoc on the life of your precious Grace. I locked her into a building of which only I carry the code and key to entry. You shall not see her again. I have acquired the help of my little munchkin Vincenzo, and he will be watching everything you say and do. I have instructed him to set traps within your home, he is very talented and you will never know when one hits you! Watch for his deadly pooper bomb, it releases time lapse toxins into your home, which will effect you precious puppies!
Gladiss is indeed on my list next. I shall lock her up also and or hire someone from Powawowa to take her and put her somewhere where her and Grace will be in contact with me and me only. We shall conquer this little world of yours and rule forever. Martini's and clubbing will become the law of the land and only those with special membership will be let into our little club of sin.
Sleep *expletive* and may the bed bugs bite!!! Hard!!
Your ever loving and not so loyal,
Dragon Roxanne"

The Spay and Neuter Clinic

Dear readers,

For those wondering what the long delay in between posts was- it was because on our way to Oz, I decided that Harlow needed to visit the Spay and Neuter clinic. It is pretty much the scariest place that we have ever journeyed to other than to Roxanne's winter hideout in Wanship, Utah.

Anyway, after a long 8 hour surgery and a weekend of rest, Harlow is no longer capable of having offspring. Thank goodness!

God bless you Harlow!!

Oz

Enter OZ: The magical community run by fairies, nome's, mermaids and nymphs.

Oz is roughly rectangular in shape, and divided along the diagonals into four countries: Munchkin Country (but commonly referred to as 'Munchkinland') in the East, Winkie Country in the West, (sometimes West and East are reversed on maps of Oz, Gillikin Country in the North, and Quadling Country in the South. In the center of Oz, where the diagonals cross, is the fabled Emerald City, capital of the land of Oz and seat to the monarch of Oz, Princess Ozma.

Upon arrival in Oz, we were warned of the evil, wicked witch: Kathy of Sandy, whom all of Oz fears.







Kathy of Sandy's life goal was to intimidate a sweet child called Samorthy. Samorthy is the long, lost daughter of the beloved Aunt Grace aka Queen Grace aka Mother GRRace-a aka Fancy Face Grace.








Samorthy and her little dog Froto were sent to live in Oz by the disgusting dragon Roxanne for unknown reasons. Roxanne worked hard from a distance with the wicked witch Kathy of Sandy to make poor Samorthy's life a living hell. They were succeeding until Harlow and I came walking into the picture.


With our brave faces on, Harlow and I took the time to go and speak with the wicked witch on behalf of Samorthy.

"Wicked witch, why do you cause harm to this sweet child Samorthy?" I asked.
"EEEEEE, EEEEEE, HEEEEEE WHOOOO, HAAAAAAA, EEEEEE AAAAAAAAAHHHH." Replied the wicked witch.
I understood it didn't speak my native tongue.
And so Harlow fetched the creepy swamp monster Christine from the trunk of our car hoping that she would be able to translate. When the two of them returned to Kathy of Sandy and I, Kathy's face lit up at the sight of the creepy Christine and Christine's creepy face lit up at the site of Kathy.


The two of them were obviously in love. Very gross. I know.



And just like that, we were able to trade our little swamp monster free and clear for the freedom of the sweet child, Samorthy. I can only assume that the critter Christine and the Wicked witch Kathy lived happily ever after in Oz. I will never know.



We spent the rest of our time in Oz with Samorthy and some weird guy looking for that awful Roxanne but we had no such luck. Until that is, when Samorthy received a call from her dear friend Alegzandra of Japan who was reporting a dragon sighting just minutes before calling to warn Samorthy.

And so, to nobody's surprise- to the depths of Japan we were headed!!















PLEASE STAND BY

Konnichiwa! Ohayo Gozaimasu!

Dear Readers,
We have arrived in Japan. It is quite terrifying here so we were immediately in contact with Alegzandra, the Japanese fighting intern. He is the protector of this country. Having been taught by only the best- Mr. Pat Morita, god bless his soul, Alegzandra was fast to spot the hideous dragon Roxanne hiding out by the famous Japanese landmark, Sensoji Temple.

Harlow and I made it here fast enough to also make our very first sighting of Roxanne and trust us, it is not pretty. She is more awful looking in person. Her dragon head is going bald and it is a shame that she never took the advice of a wise mind named Brittni and used a bottle of Rogaine to fix her ugly, bald problem.

As I watched her cowardly body sitting beside this famous temple, it was easy to see that the two elderly women, Gladiss and Grace were not with her. "Where could they be?" I asked the intelligent Alegzandra. He did not know. I cannot quote his responses because he didn't speak English. He did explain though that in Japan, since GPS systems are not used, ( the Japanese are a little behind in their technological discoveries I guess) there was only one person or should I say "Navigation Parrot" that could help us.

Deb the navigation parrot was where Alegzandra sent us. Deb was one of two Parrot sisters. Her twin sister, Lola was not used for navigating, just translating. Deb would navigate and Lola would translate. Do you comprehend what these beautiful parrots can do? I should hope so.
We arrived at their birdcage and met with them and their parrot father, Mr. Fanortner.

The twins agreed to help us find where Gladiss and Grace were hiding as long as we agreed to let them ride around on our heads.
Deb could smell the elderly womens pretty perfume only she could not find them anywhere. We searched all of Japan for two days in a row.

We did receive a clue from some strange guy after those two days. "He said, don't you remember the postcard that you received from the Gates of Doom so long ago, silly dogs? Well that is where the old ladies must be of course." Of course!! Why didn't we think of this already?!

NEXT MISSION: GETTING BACK ON TRACK TO THE GATES OF DOOM